Whale of a Birthday
by nagaesan715
Summary: Pearl parties like you've never seen before.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1, Getting Ready

Pearl Krabs awoke from her floral-patterned bed and looked excitedly at the morning sun through her window. Today she was sixteen years old. She then frowned sadly as she knew what this meant. Mr. Krabs, her father, was going to throw her a cheap and lousy party. She hated her birthday parties as they were always cheap and lame. She'd always expect it to be fun and fabulous. Her father would promise, and then his cheap ways would win out again. But this time, she hoped, he'd listen.

The first thing she heard on the radio was Boys Who Cry's newest song, "Birthday Girl". Pearl fantasied herself with Boys Who Cry quite often, and this time her fantasy was about the boy-band serenading her with their latest song. But then, her thoughts were interrupted by Mr. Krabs calling her for breakfast. She made her way downstairs.

"Daddy, today's the day!" she yelled. She sat down at the breakfast table as she got herself an orange to go with her bacon. "What?" Mr. Krabs asked as he looked up from his newspaper, puzzled. Pearl answered, "It's my birthday!". Mr. Krabs laughed. He said, "Oh yeah. What are you going to be, twelve?" "I'm going to be sixteen!" Pearl angrily replied. "The greatest day of all. But if I don't have a great party, I'm gonna drop out of high school, I won't go to college, my reputation's gonna collapse, and I'll never leave home! I'LL NEVER LEAVE HOME!" Mr. Krabs just stared and reassured to Pearl that everything would be alright. Then they both ate breakfast together.

Pearl then had to make a tuna-fish sandwich to bring to school for lunch. As she was spreading the mayonnaise, she was asking Mr. Krabs if he was going to be cheap this year. He replied "Darling, I'll try not to be cheap." Pearl glared at him and said, "Well, you BETTER". She packed her sandwich in a sandwich bag, then put that in a brown-bag. She put the bag in her backpack, and ran off to the bus.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2, At the School

Pearl walked in to her school, The Bikini Bottom High School, and sat down at her desk in room 9B. She wrote a note to Judy, and made a paper airplane, and sent it to her. The note read:  
"Judy, I'm now 16 years old!"  
Judy wrote a note back and threw it to Pearl. It read:  
"Pearl, that is totes coral."  
The teacher, Ms. Oxford, walked in. Ms. Oxford was an octopus who knew Mrs. Puff. Ms. Oxford proceeded to teach Pearl and her classmates about physics.

Throughout classes, friends signed a birthday card. A student named Dave whose arm was in a cast asked Pearl to sign his cast. She wrote, "I'm sixteen! Wahoo!". In the cafetiera, Pearl ate lunch, and took out her iPod. She went to iTunes and scrolled through the iPodcasts until she found the Boys Who Cry Podcast. When she turned it on, they played "Birthday Girl". Pearl took another bite of her tuna-fish sandwich, and began to daydream herself as a queen with a magenta dress. Her golden tiara sparkled as she walked up to Boys Who Cry, who she then proceeded to marry. Pearl woke up from her dream, dazed.

In Bikini Bottom High School, after lunch, the students return home for a while. They go back for their last two periods. Pearl went home, and looked in the mirror...and she found barnacle-acne on her face! Pearl got her favorite cream, ZitSplatter Cherry, and rubbed it on her face. The zits popped, and Pearl had a purple blemish on her face. She dashed to the spa and got facial treatment. _Good as new_, she thought. She rushed back to her school.

When school was over, Pearl asked her friends, "Are you coming to my totally coral sweet 16 today?". Breezie (a hedgehog friend) said, "I don't know. I hope it isn't like _last_ year, when your dad passed out _paper clips_ as party favors". Pearl laughed with Breezie, Judy, Natalie, and Tara. Judy said, "Remember the time we had to share one balloon? Please." At Pearl's 10th birthday party, Mr. Krabs bought only one balloon! "Remember the _pony ride_?" Tara added. There was a pony ride at Pearl's 13th birthday. The pony was made of sticks and pots! Natalie said, "I don't want to see how he ruins _this_ year." Pearl laughed along with Natalie, Tara, Breezie and Judy.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3, Shoppin'

Pearl ran to the Krusty Krab. "Dad, do you have anything planned?" Mr. Krabs said, "Don't snap your mizzenmast. I've got everything set." "Well, I already have the _party favors_", Pearl replied. "This year's gonna be a blast!" they both said. They hugged. "But really, I need everything on this list at my party," Pearl said. She took out a list and unscrolled it. The list rolled down the road. Mr. Krabs rolled it back up. SpongeBob came in and Mr. Krabs told him that he needed to buy Pearl presents. "I'll be at the mall with my friends!" Pearl shouted. She took SpongeBob by the arm and ran to the Bikini Bottom Mall.

At the mall, SpongeBob had to listen to Pearl telling a story about a girl she was shopping with and her boyfriend. "And _that's_ when Marcy told me that Julie said that Angela _did_ like Brad," Pearl gossiped. Clara chimed in, "Oh! I thought she hated him." "Me too," Marcy said, "until Julie found out the real truth." SpongeBob said unknowingly, "Angela likes Brad?" Pearl nodded her head yes. SpongeBob followed Pearl & pals into a video store. "I know her!" Tina said, pointing to a girl fish. "That's my friend June." June was watching a mind-screwing video on a computer. "What is this?" she asked. The friends walked into a store called Girly-Girlz Unlimited. The first thing Pearl saw was a purple comb that sparkled. "Oh my God, this is the best hair product ever!" she squealed. SpongeBob and Pearl went to the cash register. "I'd like to buy this piece of plastic...with this piece of plastic," SpongeBob stuttered. "He means he'd like to buy this comb with my dad's MasterCarp credit card," Pearl said. The cashier asked, "How do you spell 'Krabs'? Does it have a 'B' in it?" Pearl answered, "K-R-A-B-S. Krabs." The cashier handed the comb over to SpongeBob. "I'll never understand the workings of high finance..." SpongeBob muttered. Pearl and SpongeBob went back to the gang.

Pearl and Amy (a hedgehog friend) were checking out a bracelet. Amy handed it to SpongeBob, who had just snatched glitter gloss away from an elderly fish named Marie. SpongeBob had to buy both items at once! Pearl then saw a necklace with 5 jeweled clams hanging from it. Five was her lucky number (Eighteen was her unlucky number). SpongeBob bought it for her and sighed.

At the Krusty Krab, Squidward was nailing up a banner that read "HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEARL". Mr. Krabs sobbed tears of joy. Squidward didn't know why he was full-on sobbing. "I got it the day she was born."

Pearl returned from buying nail polish and saw Billy Fishkins! "Yes, it's me," Billy said. Amy said, "Isn't he dreamy?" SpongeBob bought a sea pony for Pearl. He then quickly disguised himself as a dog fish, but Sally took him out of the disguise. Pearl sighed as she was looking at the racks of dresses. "Dont give up, Pearl," said SpongeBob. "You're right," Pearl said. Then they looked at the dresses together.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4, Everything Trying to Tell You

Mr. Krabs and Squidward were admiring an ice sculpture of Pearl. "It took 400 pounds of ice to make this true majesty," Squidward said. "Yeah," Mr. Krabs said exhaustingly. He looked at Pearl's list. "Well, Pearl's birthday! Now how about the entertainment shows? We ran out of those ones where you put on 3D glasses & shrink, then it'd be very big." Squidward replied, "I think...we have 2 of those left. I remember one of them with snakes & lions. We still have that one, it's a great one." "Then, there's Boys Who Cry," Mr. Krabs said knowingly. "They charge _a million dollars_ just to show up," Squidward said, "and if you want them to lip sing, it'll run into real money!" Mr. Krabs said, "I'll have BOTH!" He and Squidward laughed.

At the mall, Pearl was looking at a party dress. She begged SpongeBob to buy her it, and it reminded her of her prom dress. He did. Platform shoes, jewelry, a party crown, and makeup were all bought. Pearl looked at herself in the mirror of the Fashion Lounge's fitting room. She remembered seeing Billy Fishkins earlier. A love fantasy began...

It began when the fitting room turned into a church decorated in white and pink. Pearl looked and found herself wearing a wavy white dress with a veil on her head. She turned and saw Billy Fishkins in a tuxedo and top hat. They walked down the aisleas bells rang. An elderly fish with a book stated, "You may now kiss." Then they kissed...flowers were showering upon them, and the church whirled into a technicolor nightclub. It was their reception! "Stadium Rave" was playing as they danced to the beat.

Then the club whirled to an island with naive girls doing the hula. A honeymoon! Pearl played a waikiki. Then it whirled to a hospital, where Pearl was holding a baby fish. She and Billy kissed...and then the hospital whirled back to the fitting room. SpongeBob tapped her on the shoulder. They walked to a boat. "My dad shoulda got THIS for my birthday," Pearl said. Judy said, "He probably got another box of_staples_." They walked out of the mall.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5, The Birthday Queen

Pearl, SpongeBob, and friends walked out of the Bikini Bottom Mall. They walked all the way to Pearl's house. Pearl changed herself into a new dress. It was light-pink, sparkly, and glittery. She put on a tiara and lilac high-heels and was all set. She got in SpongeBob's boatmobile and they drove to the Krusty Krab.

"Everyone get in position!" Mr. Krabs yelled. He, Squidward, and the guests all stood in the Krusty Krab. When Pearl arrived, she was surprised to see that the building was...the Kuddly Krab! She walked in, and found herself in the regular Krusty Krab. Everyone said, "Happy Birthday, Pearl!" Balloons flew up, and a fish pulled a hook to reveal that the Krusty Krab interior was just rollable wallpaper. Pearl and friends were in the Kuddly Krab! "SpongeBob, what took you so long?" Mr. Krabs asked SpongeBob. "And where's Pearl's presents?" SpongeBob replied, "The delivery truck will be here momentarily."

Pearl noticed Mr. Krabs had gotten a new banner. Instead of saying "It's a Boy Girl", it read "Happy Birthday!" "Daddy, this party _might_ be fun," she said. Judy said, "You're a birthday _queen_!" Pearl and her friends went to the popcorn machine. _Here we go again..._ Pearl thought. She dared to take a bite. When she ate it, she smiled. It wasn't stale popcorn! Mina (a mongoose friend) said, "It's not stale popcorn!" They went over to the drink station, which Squidward was running. Mina took a sip of punch, then turned to Pearl and said, "It tastes like grape soda!" "It is grape soda," Squidward said. He laughed. Pearl loved grape soda punch! She noticed the ice sculpture. "Is that supposed to be..._me_?" She went over and touched it. "It's made out of ice! Finally! Whoo Hoo!" She'd always get a statue made out of Krabby Patties ever since she was 14. SpongeBob told her, "On the sculpture...it is ice!" "Who all wants some cake?" Mr. Krabs asked. Pearl said, "The cake _does_ look good." She and Marcy ran up and took a bite. Pearl shouted, "It's chocolate! Yum!" _Thank God it isn't cardboard!_ she thought. "And frosting," Mr. Krabs added. "Well Pearl, 15 lame parties in a row, but this one's great," Angela told Pearl with a smile. Sally (a squirrel friend) noticed the drink station. "No root beer, but..." she stated.

"Wait, there's more," Pearl told her friends. "My dad got Boys Who Cry to play!" She then turned to Mr. Krabs and whispered, "You _did_ get Boys Who Cry, right?" Mr. Krabs said, "Oh, even better sweetie. Hit it." A stage opened as R&B music began to play. Pearl & friends nearly fainted at what they saw. Boys Who Cry were playing live at the Kuddly Krab. "Hello, ladies," they said. But something weird happened. The band shrunk until they were 3 inches tall, and then they hopped on Pearl's lip. They sang "Birthday Girl", and danced to it.  
"It's all about you girl, on your 16th birthday!

Pay attention to you girl, everyone has to do just what you say!

You get your very own spotlight tonight, 'cuz it's all about _you_!

Yeah, it's all about Pearl! You're the birthday girl! Huh!"

They hopped off her lip, grew back, and danced. "Hey! That's Boys Who Cry!" Tara yelled. "Yeah! Yeah!" Judy shouted. Clara said happily, "What awesome fun this is!". Pearl turned to Mr. Krabs and told him, "Daddy, how could you make it _cool_?" "With a lot of effort and money," he replied. "I gave you a _list_, and you decided to add to that. This is the best party ever, thank you," Pearl replied. She was smiling and dancing with her friends. Mr. Krabs noticed something out the window from the corner of his eye. He asked, "Pearl, what's outside?" Pearl turned to him and praised, "You did _everything_! You stopped being cheap, for me!" Then she remembered what Mr. Krabs had just asked her. "Oh, the presents," she answered, "that's what's outside." She laughed and invited her friends to go outside and shake some of the presents to guess what was in them. Mr. Krabs was watching from the enterance. "I'll make it even cooler, Pearl," he responded.

He then told the guests at the party, "Okay! The shrinking show! Put on your 'Safety Goggles'!" Pearl turned to Judy and said to her, "It's about to start." "Yeah!" Judy replied. Pearl and her friends ran back into the Kuddly Krab. They sat down. "Let's put on our glasses," Pearl said. She & her friends put on the 3D glasses (called Safety Goggles). As the preshow started, Nancy told her friends about her coulrophobia she had when she was a kid. "When I was young, I was afraid of Krabby the Clown, true fact!" "Oh, really?" Angela asked. Nancy responded, "Yes. Now let's watch this 3D movie!" "Bring it on!" Pearl and friends yelled. They waited for the scientist in the movie to "shrink" them with his laser beam. When he did, they cheered. But their cheers were interrupted by a _huge_ dog who sniffed at them. Everyone screamed. It got worse when the dog _sneezed_ on them. What Pearl and friends thought was mucus sprayed all over the audience. "Ewwww!" Marcy exclaimed, disgusted. "Yeah, ewww!" Pearl shouted. And then...giant mice ran up their legs! "Eeeek!" Julie screamed. Nancy had enough of 3D for a while. She took off her 3D glasses and proclaimed, "I'm getting something to eat." She got a Krabby Patty and topped it with volcano sauce. She added fries and a salad as a side.

Meanwhile, a snake in the movie "charged" at Pearl & friends. "Look out for that _snake_!" Angela told to her friends, worried. Pearl screamed. Nancy returned to her seat and put her 3D glasses back on. "I'm back," she said, "...what is a _human_ doing in the Kuddly Krab?" Marcy told her, "It's the 3D show!" The human picked up the audience and the entire Kuddly Krab! The audience _screamed_. When the human put the Kuddly Krab back down, everything was quiet and Pearl actually thought the show was over. But not yet. The audience could hear loud footsteps. Then, a deafening roar sent the audience screaming in hysterics! It was a _lion_! Pearl, Marcy, Brad, Angela, Judy, and SpongeBob screamed in terror - while Nancy, Julie, Sally, Mina, Breezie, Clara, Amy, and Tara huddled together. Sera, Sara, and Sarah were shaking in fear. Finally, the lion left the screen, and a laser beam hit them and they "grew" back.

The show was over and Pearl was relieved. She and the audience took off their 3D glasses. Pearl drank some soda. "Well, time for the presents," Mr. Krabs said. SpongeBob emptied a truck with gifts. Pearl asked, "You got me a Boys Who Cry CD and a boat?" Breezie came over. "He did?" she said. "How much is this $500 costing me?" Mr. Krabs asked. SpongeBob showed him the reciept. Mr. Krabs freaked out. "_BILLY FISHKINS_?!" Pearl saw Billy Fishkins get out of a present. "Ah, nothing's too good for my daddy," Pearl said. And then she, SpongeBob, and Billy Fishkins danced and laughed.


End file.
